


washing machine heart

by onedancingprince



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Background Relationships, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, kuroo and hinata are adoptive brothers but it's not ever really touched upon, take this kuroken angst, theres like a sentence of implied kagehina, this is a love letter to my friends mwah i love y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:12:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29414667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onedancingprince/pseuds/onedancingprince
Summary: They're eight when they meet him. His name is Kozume Kenma, or “just Kenma” as he’d asked to be called. Later that night, Kuroo listens to Shoyo roll the name over his tongue and distinctly feels like he wants to cry, though he won’t know why for another many years.aka: kuroo sets aside his feelings for someone else's happiness and it tortures him for years.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 20





	washing machine heart

They’re eight when they meet him. Long brown hair, short, golden eyes that saw absolutely everything. He’s quiet, and shy, and doesn’t talk to people - but god is he pretty. Shoyo is the first to introduce himself, of course. Always the outgoing one, always the social one, always the first to talk to new people. Kuroo is still young, so he still thinks he’ll never understand how Shoyo could just talk to people - years later, he’ll laugh at his young self.

His name is Kozume Kenma, or “just Kenma” as he’d asked to be called. Later that night, Kuroo listens to Shoyo roll the name over his tongue and distinctly feels like he wants to cry, though he won’t know why for another many years. 

It turns out that “just Kenma” is amazing at video games. Kuroo and him play in silence for hours every day while Shoyo goes out and plays with the first kids he sees. It’s quiet, but not uncomfortable. Kuroo grunts a little when he loses, and Kenma sighs a bit when he gets hit. Not a word is exchanged - but not a word needs to be exchanged, not when Kenma is relentless in his attacks and Kuroo is honestly just smashing buttons at this point.

Shoyo introduces Kenma to volleyball. Kenma does it to make him happy. And suddenly their video game sessions where they don’t say a word become Shoyo and Kenma’s volleyball sessions where Shoyo yells and gasps and cheers, because Shoyo has always had a loud existence. Kuroo watches from the side, head propped up on his hand and hand propped up on his knee, as Kenma smiles at Shoyo and talks to him and as Shoyo beams at Kenma and cheers for him, even when he loses.

They’re eleven when Shoyo comes to him, trembling and crying and gasping for breath because he might not like boys the normal amount. Kuroo has already realized - it was a quiet, nondramatic realization that boys were pretty, and so were girls, so why should he have to choose? Kuroo, of course, comforts Shoyo and tells him it’s ok and shares that he feels that way too - they may not be related by blood, but they are brothers in all the ways that are important and Kuroo would do anything for Shoyo.

Anything comes in the form of giving up his mental health and happiness for years so Shoyo could be happy.

Kuroo will claim credit for years and years and years after Shoyo and Kenma get together (finally, he’ll say as he bites back tears when they announce it to him officially) - it was all him, and he is the best wingman on the planet, and he couldn’t be happier for them.

Two out of three things are true.

Shoyo and Kenma get together in their last year year of primary school - young, but so sure and so goddamn happy together that it makes Kuroo physically sick to look at them sometimes.

Shoyo’s always been like the sun - bright, fun, happy, shining for everyone to gaze at and bask in and smile. That would make Kenma his moon - despite his newly bleached hair and golden eyes like a cat’s, Kenma fit it perfectly. Softer, more intimate than the sun - and hypnotizingly beautiful.

Kuroo’s always been a night owl (or cat as he preferred to think about it).

In their third year of midde school, Shoyo meets a strange but energetic boy named Bokuto Koutarou. He’s fun, and interesting, and very emotional. Kuroo finds that he likes this strange kid - he’s fun to scheme with, to play pranks with, as he’ll learn one day when they’re at a sleepover late at night, a fantastic listener.

Kuroo sits there, knowing that Kenma and Shoyo are at home by themselves, and he can’t help but wonder what they’re doing. Are they hugging? Kissing? Playing video games? He’s staying at Bokuto’s house for the night (to give them some alone time, he’d said with a wink as he left) and he can’t even enjoy it.

Bokuto is also surprisingly observant - he notices how Kuroo keeps zoning out and how he’s barely touched his onigiri.

“Hey,” he asks whien he beats Kuroo at a round of Super Smash Bros, “You ok?”

Was Kuroo ok?

Kuroo couldn’t remember the last time he’d been asked that. It was his job, to ask after people’s well being and to comfort and to take care of everyone. He did it for Shoyo when he burnt himself out playing volleyball every hour of the day, he’d done it for Kenma since he saw that quiet and shy boy, just as he was years ago, and he’d do it for anyone he happened to take under his wing.

“No,” Kuroo responds, “I don’t think I’ve been ok in a long time.”

He spills everything to Bokuto that night, and when he leaves, he feels lighter (only mentally, he’s pretty sure he gained two pounds just from that sleepover - Bokuto’s older sister really like to cook) and he’s started calling him Koutarou.

Kuroo and Koutarou are much closer now, and they’re sitting together in a park, drinking slushies when Koutarou gasps with stars in his eyes and rapidly slaps Kuroo in the arm. Kuroo follows his gaze and sees the second prettiest boy he’s ever seen (the first, of course, being Kenma). He has curly-ish black hair and deep navy eyes.

Kuroo can practically hear Cupid’s arrow strike Koutarou in the ass as he gazes at the pretty boy, so Kuroo does what he couldn’t do for himself, and he drags Koutarou over to talk to this supremely beautiful human being.

“Akaashi,” Koutarou whispers to him later, a new contact in his phone and a new glow about him that’s honestly refreshing to see. It’s nice to see someone be in love and not want to puke at the sight.

Kuroo also appreciates that now he and Koutarou have something to talk about besides Kenma and Shoyo and Super Smash Bros. It’s nice when the conversation moves from Kuroo’s pathetic life to Bokuto’s kinda-not really-maybe-sort of boyfriend.

Eventually, Akaashi joins their little gossip/cry/eat sessions. Mostly to cuddle Koutarou, but also partially to give advice, which he was pretty good at. Kuroo learns Akaashi is actually pretty funny and can be quite kind, contrary to the serious, stoic boy he had met months ago.

Kuroo guesses that love really does bring out the best in someone - Koutarou’s constant smiles are more real now, and his moods are less aggressive - and Akaashi becomes softer and kinder and much, much funnier.

It’s their second year of high school when it happens.

Shoyo and Kenma break up. They’ve both been feeling a disconnect, and they weren’t really interested in each other anymore - at this point, they were really just best friends that make out sometimes.

At least that’s what Shoyo says, then he runs off to go argue with a tall boy with a fond look in his eye despite his angry expression.

And Shoyo, as wonderful as he is, can sometimes be a little dense when it comes to how others are actually feeling. Kuroo finds Kenma crying in the staircase after school three weeks after their break up- and it’s obviously about Shoyo.

Kuroo comforts Kenma despite his own warring emotions - a mix of happiness and sadness, and a bit of hilarity and shock, and a pit of guilt and a bit of pity.

Nonetheless, he does what he does best and pushes his own emotions aside for the sake of someone else. He takes Kenma to his house, hands him a controller and it’s like nothing has changed, yet everything has at the same time.

Kenma still sighs softly when he gets hit, Kuroo still grunts when he loses, and it’ still mostly quiet. Not a word needs to be exchanged - nothing ever had to be said, when it was Kuroo and Kenma. But so much is different - Kuroo now towers over Kenma, they’ve both experienced first love and heartbreak, and they’re both so much older than they were when they were eight.

Kuroo’s still smashing buttons and Kenma’s still relentless, but they’re both different people - and it honestly doesn’t scare Kuroo as much as it probably should.

They finish a round - Kenma’s win, of course - and Kuroo looks over at Kenma with a smile on his face and a congratulations on his lips, but he holds his tongue longer than he normally would. Because Kenma is looking at him in a way he’s never looked at anyone, not even Shoyo - he looks like there’s nothing he’d rather do in the world than figure Kuroo out.

It’s jarring. It’s a little terrifying, if he’s being honest. But most of all, it’s everything he’s wanted since he met the pretty boy next door with long hair and cat’s eyes.

Kenma gazes at Kuroo with golden irises, tear tracks on his face, and tells him, “I feel weird.” And Kuroo responds, “Emotions are weird.” and Kenma nods.

And then Kenma is crawling onto his lap, letting Kuroo place his chin on his head and letting him wrap his arms around him.

Kenma gazes up at him with golden eyes belonging to a cat, and he says, “I’d like to try.”

And Kuroo responds by kicking his ass at Super Smash Bros and squeezing him tight.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this fic was a surprising amount of fun to write - i had a really good time torturing kuroo (sorry dude) and writing all the characters. sorry if hinata seems at all bad in this fic, it's just that he doesn't know about kuroo's feelings for kenma, i promise that he isn't actually bad.
> 
> anyway, thank you so much for reading, comments made my heart keysmash!


End file.
